Coming To Terms With Being a Feminist

Growing up I never knew exactly what a feminist was, but I knew it was not a term of endearment. While on a study abroad this past fall semester, I remember sitting in my classroom in Amman, Jordan having a rather heated discussion with my classmates. I don’t remember the exact conversation, but somehow women were involved and of course I was the only girl in a room full of men. Never once did I raise my voice or become over-emotional. I did however advocate for women having the right to choose the direction their lives should go. The entire conversation was held in Arabic, being the language we were there studying. As the comments flew back and forth our professor quietly smiled to himself as I continued to present my case. After one of my longer “speeches” about the unfortunate plight of women around the world, our professor silenced us all as he broke into English for the first time that entire semester to say three simple words directed at me, “our little feminist.” Never before had I been called a feminist. In fact, I had never even considered myself a feminist. Feminists were bad and I did not want to be associated with such a group. Instantly I felt confusion, shame, and embarrassment. The fact that my professor even spoke English was a bit of a shock in and of itself. But there was more to it than that. The English coupled with his tone of voice clearly indicated his desire to insult me. His face bore the expression of one who thought that he was better than me, who knew that my passion was useless because there was nothing I could do to change ‘the way things have always been.’ The power of that simple statement, “our little feminist” stung like nothing before. I thought I had done something wrong. I thought I might have been too passionate or unreasonable. I was quiet for the rest of the day as I re-played that class discussion over and over again in my mind. I knew I didn’t like being labeled a feminist, but I didn’t know why.

The longer I thought about it, the more confused I became. What part of myself was causing this revulsion to a simple word?  As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the LDS culture has always been the largest influence on my life. It was here that I traced by phobia of feminism. But why? What is it about church culture that turns people away from feminism? Is it simply the culture or is it actually the doctrine of the church? Does feminism go against the teachings of Jesus Christ? The more I’ve come to understand feminism and understand the church, I’ve realized that of course the teachings of the church support women. Doesn’t the gospel advocate liberation for women? Don’t our church leaders ask us to vote in local and national elections? Don’t we believe in marriage between a man and a woman? Wouldn’t God want women to have the right to employment with pay based on experience and qualifications instead of gender? There isn’t anything in the teachings of the church that forbids women to wear jeans. The church does support women, women’s right, and women’s well-being. Time and time again the brethren of the church have counseled women to seek higher education. They urge us to develop our skills and do all we can to better ourselves. President Hinckley said, “In this day and time, a girl needs an education. She needs the means and skills by which to earn a living should she find herself in a situation where it becomes necessary to do so” (http://www.lds.org/new-era/2007/09/words-of-the-prophet-seek-learning?lang=eng&query=education+women). In that same address he reminds us, “You have the potential to become anything to which you set your mind… You must get all of the education that you possibly can… Sacrifice anything that is needed to be sacrificed to qualify yourselves to do the work of the world. That world will in large measure pay you what it thinks you are worth, and your worth will increase as you gain education and proficiency in your chosen field.” Yes, the brethren of the church reflect the gospel’s doctrine in supporting and uplifting women. They urge men and women everywhere to gain an education, to seek employment, and to be the best citizens they can be.

            A year has passed since that classroom experience and my professor’s powerful “insult” has acted to change my life. I finally know what a feminist is and marvel to think that I was once embarrassed and ashamed to be associated with such a powerful group of people. I am currently finishing my degree in Middle Eastern Studies Arabic and have added a Women’s Studies minor as well. I look for every possible way to reach out and better the lives of women around me, and am excited to spend the rest of my life doing so. Today, nothing makes me more proud than to be called a feminist.

- Catie